Joe Biden’s Ship of Fools

Kamala Harris 

Harris’ term as vice president has been impaired by public performances that would embarrass a clown and private behavior that makes her staffers keep fleeing. Democrats have not rushed to defend her, lamenting (off the record) Harris’ inability to speak like an educated adult and her status as a political joke. 

The Harris vice presidency compares unfavorably even to Joe Biden’s 2009 – 2017 vice presidency. President Obama wisely kept VP Biden away from any responsibilities requiring logic and management, reportedly remarking privately, “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to fuck things up.”

But just two months into his term — fools rush in — Joe read an announcement naming VP Harris “Border Czar.” Her one Czar initiative so far has been a substance-free photo opportunity nine miles from the southern border. In her spare time she’s leveraged her special talent: doing nothing . . . actually, probably a good idea for her.

Democrats assumed they had a double-check asset in a woman of color VP. But that was before Harris put her painfully limited capacities on display, talking to children like a giddy ninny and scaring adults who recognize Joe’s fragility.

Veep Kamala’s spooky children’s show has usually been overshadowed by the larger fright film of Prez Joe. His journeys on airplane ramps produce multiple falls. His public statements feature non-existent words, incoherent mumbling, and bizarre whispering to dramatize a line that is not dramatic. Leaving the podium, he  sometimes shakes hands with ghosts.

But whether or not Joe remembers to run for re-election, Kamala obviously expects to remain a national political figure. The party that demands equity for women and minorities might get really scared proposing to their woman-of-color VP that she should smilingly accept moving on as Ambassador To Somewhere-Or-Other.

How did someone so intellectually deficient and politically clueless as Harris even enter politics? That backstory is a steamy one, reported seldom or partially by most media, but if it were a movie it would be rated R.

Harris does have one talent: She’s an accomplished cackler. Such intense cackling hadn’t been heard by a national audience since The Wizard of Oz — and Margaret Hamilton was a pro.

Pete Buttigieg

As the 2012-2020 Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Buttigieg made his name through small stories: a racial conflict over policing, a 75% increase in violent crime, and a scandal at his city’s Transportation Corporation. The latter might have been incorrectly recalled by Biden or his handlers, because after Buttigieg’s 2020 presidential campaign went nowhere, he was somehow appointed U.S. Secretary of Transportation.

How has “Mayor Pete” been handling his major position of managing U.S. transportation? Maybe you recall how well Rip Van Winkle managed his responsibilities.

Soon after Biden’s Ship of Fools presidency set sail, America plunged into an unprecedented supply chain crisis, with ships of imported goods bottlenecked outside ports, many trucks going nowhere, and more empty shelves than American shoppers had ever seen.

Facing up to this crisis, Buttigieg took a two-month paternity leave for quality time with his husband and newborns.

Then in 2022 America faced a looming rail strike. Pete again leapt into action. He took a nice vacation in Portugal.

Early in 2023 a train derailed and was blown up, spewing toxins into an area of Ohio populated by many working class Republican voters. Buttigieg, who loves flying private jets at taxpayer expense, failed to find a flight to the site of the disaster for almost three weeks. But he did write a sharply-worded letter to the railroad involved.

Why was an unsuccessful mayor of a small city named the U.S. Secretary of Transportation? Don’t ask.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

AOC is more than a bartender turned politician-philosopher.  She’s a fighter for the underprivileged, you know — like wow! — like people who need a job.

Yet she played a major, loud role in the 2019 canceling of Amazon’s plans for a new headquarters in New York City that would have provided 25,000 – 50,000 jobs, most with high salaries.

AOC has explained this headquarters hostility. It’s that Amazon company being all about making money, and bigwigs get that money, really, and the workers just get, like, jobs, you know? That’s capitalism for you. Lots of damn jobs.

Eric Swalwell 

Elected to the U.S. House in 2012,  Swalwell was appointed to the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. He soon drew the attention and nocturnal company of comely “college student” Christine Fang — cute nickname Fang Fang — who was later identified as . . . uh . . . an asset of China’s Ministry of State Security. She fled her espionage job after her cover was finally . . . uh . . . blown.

To be fair, Fang Fang also served as undercover girlfriend for politicians who remain unnamed, one reported by the New York Post as mayor of “an obscure city in the Midwest.” You wonder how much intelligence significant to China was available in an obscure city in the Midwest, but in searching out American politicians who appreciated her, Fang Fang sure covered a lot of ground.

What happened to Rep. Swalwell’s place on the Intelligence Committee after it was revealed he’d been “honey-trapped” by a Chinese spy? Nothing. Democrats kept him there dealing with sensitive intelligence issues, until the Republicans took control of the House in 2023 and removed him over Democrat objections.

Is there some lesson in the Eric Swalwell story? Maybe it’s that congressional Democrats are comfortable mixing intelligence with stupidity.

Maxine Waters

For the past 32 years, Waters has served in the U.S. House representing California. If you have a mean streak, you might say California has deserved her. In each of the past three presidential elections won by a Republican, Waters formally objected to state votes, respectively, Florida’s, Ohio’s, and Wyoming’s. Yet she continues to condemn election deniers, maybe because such confused perspectives are common when you’re 84.

Shouting to crowds in a 2018 rally and a 2021 protest, Waters urged fellow progressives to physically confront and threaten political opponents. Her other initiatives for democracy have included writing friendly letters to Fidel Castro and calling President George H.W. Bush a racist.

She is angry more often than Donald Trump, not an easy accomplishment.

Nancy Pelosi (fool emeritus)

Pelosi has been in the U.S. House of Representatives for 35 years, though it feels like a lot longer. She has led the Democratic Party in the House for 20 years, maintaining strict discipline and intimidating younger Democrat members, which is to say, almost all of them.

Nancy and her husband are gifted at buying stocks just before they’re suddenly made hot by legislative initiatives. The Pelosis have uncanny timing.

Joe Biden

He’s the captain of the ship of state, more or less. Orders ahoy, Captain Joe!

“All hams on deck! Batter up the hatches! Where’s Ensign Kamala? Straighten up those flotsams and jetsons, men! Is that the Jolly Roger or Roger Stone? Who stole the strawberries? Fire at the primary target when you see that big red circle! Anchors away from here! Tell the mess hall no more mint chocolate chip!”

“But Captain Biden, sir, you’re heading the ship straight into that oil rig!”

“All engines full ahead, men! Oil is the enemy!”