Twelve Questions to Ask a Liberal
1. Dear liberal: Your trusted major media often ignore news they don’t like (such as Joe’s struggles with reality) or dismiss it as sinister disinformation (his son’s laptop is just a Russian hoax). But the handful of incorrect media often report such news anyway. Would the problem you liberals have with unwelcome news be solved by regulatory cancellation of Fox News, The New York Post, talk radio, and a few other enemies of the state? Would media totally sanitized of conservative perspectives satisfy you? Would anything satisfy you?
2. You’re proud of the depth and diversity of your education. Tell me — how many conservative teachers and professors did you have through high school and college? OK, tell me one?
3. Regional concerns: (for older liberals) When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, were you secretly disappointed about the failure of the motherland of anti-capitalism? (for younger liberals) Why do the cities run by liberals — New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, etc. — keep sinking deeper into disaster? Or do you think disaster’s cool?
4. Why do you see private enterprise as inherently wicked and government enterprise as inherently virtuous?
5. You consider yourself “progressive.” Do you think that what the 1917 Bolshevik revolution brought to Russia and later its empire was progress? Do you believe that the damage inflicted on Great Britain’s economy by its socialist Labour Party (leading up to the Thatcher pushback) was progress? Oil-rich Venezuela had the Western Hemisphere’s second-strongest economy when socialist Hugo Chávez became its president. Chávez’s “wealth redistribution” policies soon left Venezuelans who weren’t party functionaries destitute and starved into eating their pets. Was that progress?
6. Do you see any danger — any possible danger — in government getting too big, bureaucracy growing authoritarian, taxing and regulation becoming unreasonable and counter-productive, the national debt moving from 14 digits toward 15?
7. What exactly is the product sold by the Biden family’s all-profit business? How did a vacuous, always-befuddled man become very wealthy (not to mention president)? How did Nancy Pelosi become a genius in stock timing?
8. When condemning conservatives who disagree with your politics, how do you decide which of us are racists and which are white supremacists? And how do you account for the increasing numbers of Blacks who see through Democrats’ plantation politics? Was Biden being a wise liberal by telling a talk show host, “…if you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t Black.”
9. Do you know what “illiberal” means? (If you’re challenged by written definitions, just watch the broadcast definitions on MSNBC.)
10. How noble did you consider the liberals’ sanctuary cities five years ago? Maybe you’ve noticed that the liberals who always run those cities are now apoplectic about their growing “migrant” populations, whose real demands have little to do with sanctuary and much to do with free benefits. If America is so racist and unfair, why do millions of non-whites keep coming to invade the U.S. from nations all over the world? (Not many from Switzerland.) What do you mean, “Well, it’s complicated….”?
11. You’re all for “The Science™”, as if science were fixed and immutable. Are you familiar with basic principles of scientific method, including science being based on challenging every new hypothesis? Are you sure that medical products inadequately vetted by scientific testing should be mandated for all government employees and many others, especially in collusion with powerful corporate interests?
12. You just love the never-ending national pep rally of wealthy college-educated liberals, especially the media titans, technology wizards, and entertainment bigshots. And you love the dependent poor, as long as they keep voting for Democrats. But when did you stop giving a damn about the shrinking middle class — the private-sector middle class, anyway. Are you comfortable with Democrats now finding the middle class expendable?
Twelve “Progressive” Jokes
1. Why did the progressive cross the road?
To get from the side of the road denouncing racism to the side denouncing white supremacy.
2. A progressive and a goat walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve that type here.” The progressive snarls, “Oh! So you don’t serve trans goats?”
3. Why did the progressive have the waiter send back his Certified Organic Vegan Locally Grown Salad?
He was suspicious because it didn’t taste bad enough.
4. What did the progressive shout when he walked into a glass door, stumbled backward and knocked down a child, then staggered into the street and caused a car crash?
“Look at the damage to democracy those MAGA Republicans are causing!”
5. How does a progressive define a woman?
Refuses to. Language is sexist.
6. What do you get when you cross a progressive with a rational, logical person?
A deeply conflicted person.
7. How many progressives does it take to change a light bulb?
Forty-six. Ten to form a committee on Environmentally Friendly Light Bulbs, thirty to staff the committee, one to leak to The New York Times, and five White House domestic policy experts to identify the one correct light bulb.
8. What did the progressive say when he heard Kamala Harris babble ridiculous baby talk about electric school buses?
“Good for her — fighting climate change!”
9. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Progressives.
Progressives who?
Progressives who want the U.S. to progress to 1917 Russia.
10. What do you call an angry mob of progressive protestors punching out some onlookers and shopkeepers?
A mostly peaceful slugfest.
11. What’s a painless way to watch the progressive harpies on The View?
Deaf. Maybe also blind, just to be on the safe side.
12. One progressive asks another progressive, “Are you worried about inflation shrinking what’s left of the middle class, California turning into a sunny plutocracy, repeat criminals set free to terrorize the cities we run, sanctuary cities complaining about the costs of very needy “migrants,” our disasters spreading?”
The other progressive replies, “No.”
