Maybe you’re not old enough to recall Tony Joe White’s big 1970 hit, a kinda rock-country, kinda down-home-dopey song called Polk Salad Annie. Maybe you’re just old enough to recall that Elvis loved this southern-fried fable so much he covered it in most every concert. (Did that song trigger dangerous weight gain?)
Here it is, every “uh!” included:
And here, matching the original Polk Salad Annie tune, are lyrics updated for 2024: Word Salad Kammie. Each “uh!” is properly placed.
[SPOKEN INTRO ABOVE BAND WARMING UP]
Uh!
If some o’ ya’ll been in California much, I’ll tell you about that left coast thing so ya’ll understand what I’m talkin’ about. They have a dish they babble about in them vegan restaurants. Only made by this adult woman talking like an idiot child. Everybody calls it word salad. Word . . . salad. Uh!
Used to know that woman lived down there, and she’d go ‘round friendly audiences and give ‘em a mess o’ her word salad. Kept repeating that stuff ‘cause that’s all she had to say. But she did alright
[SUNG]
[Verse 1]
Down in California
Where the Democrats are so dumb
There lived a girl that I swear to the world
Talked like she still sucked her thumb
[Chorus]
Word salad Kammie, word salad Kammie
And the Democrats gave assent
To the dummy running t’be president
(A giggling, empty-headed woman) Uh!
[Verse 2]
Every day whenever they let her
She’d gab to a microphone
And serve up a mess o’ word salad
Cackling all alone
[Chorus]
Word salad Kammie
Your staff is getting clammy —“ stop, stop, stop”
And the Democrats gave assent
To the dummy running t’be president
(Young airhead got into politics ‘cause of a skirt-chasing old pol heh heh
Lord have mercy)
[Harmonica Solo]
Uh!
[Verse 3
Her sugar daddy was a player
Had California wrapped tight
California voters thought it was all just fine
Got her elected alright
[Chorus]
Word salad Kammie
Your staff is getting clammy — wo-oh, uh-oh!
And the Democrats gave assent
To the dummy running t’be president
Sock a little word salad to me
You know they eat it up on “The View”
Woo-oo-oh, come on
Good God!
Ooh-oo-ooh,
Duh-uh! uh! uh! uh! uh!
Grown woman wanna be president
And talks like an idiot child
Lord have mercy