Original Pitches, Arguable Calls
Like many, maybe most people, I love movies. I continued loving them past the period — mid ‘70s? late ‘70s? — when Hollywood’s marketing focus began shifting toward the demographic of easily entertained adolescent boys. Over the past 40 years, Hollywood’s adolescent boy focus has broadened to include adolescent girls and, much more significantly, teeming…
Last week I watched a 2019 Netflix movie, Dolemite Is My Name. Unlike most Eddie Murphy vehicles of this century, it was very good. I just assumed the Dolemite character and the entire storyline were a general fictional parody of ‘70s “blaxploitation” movies. Then, at the end of the movie, a series of epilogue texts was…
The mammoth multi-movie mall near me has 17 screens but usually shows about a dozen different movies, since hit movies require two or three screens for ticket-hungry audiences. The biggest hit movies are usually based on comic book characters or themes that might be in comic books if they were still being published. Oops. I…
The Ultimate Sinatra Anthem(if he’d managed to “survive to a hundred and five”) When I was eighty-fiveIt was a pretty good yearIt was a pretty good yearFor middle-aged broadsWho crowded the stageHalf-ignoring my ageMy lawyer would driveWhen I was eighty-five When I was ninety-twoIt was a tolerable yearIt was a tolerable yearFor ladies with canesAnd…
To someone who subscribes to a principle of simplicity — say, Occam’s Razor or Razors Should Have One Damn Blade — that title might seem just dumb. I’ll try to explain it, hoping you won’t offer some feedback along the lines of “Yes, dumb.” These three movies are ones I’ve enjoyed many times over many…
The lineup for Chicago’s Lollapalooza 2019 Festival (August 1 – 4) has been announced. I haven’t been this excited since the lineup for the 2018 festival was announced. That lineup included Dancing Zombie Dogs . . . or did I just think it should have? Since we are still weeks of fevered anticipation away, you…
We White Sox fans, a small but savvy crowd, believe our team is cutting down on awfulness. We might be short a $300 million player or two, but an award of colossal wealth and a long-term contract to a big star sometimes produces, sooner or later, comment along the lines of, “Hey, remember when that…
TV Commercial Script “I Can’t Believe” Background Music -– light, pleasant Carefree Woman relaxes in her kitchen, enjoying a slice of toast with spread. C.W.: I can’t believe it! Elderly Fellow watching TV. Tray with a muffin, a couple bites out of it, butter knife and open tub of spread nearby. He happily picks up…
“Hamlet? They’re making us do Hamlet again?!?” “Settle down, people, settle down. Now, each of you has a copy of the new memo from our ‘Bard Board.’ Must be hot off their typewriter.” “I can’t read this thing. My shrink says I have RSD — Refined Situational Dyslexia.” “You’re lucky. Anyway, I’m warning you, we’ve…
The drunk cabbie makesa wrong turn sixteen damn times.What’s next? Seventeen. O you who sees mychrome wheels as vulgarian,my fist sees your chin. Sorry about that. You’re part of the universe, just a faulty part. My hand-held devicelistens, speaks, completes me, soI need you for . . . what? Tomorrow is fog.Only today’s truth is…